There's No Such Thing as an Objective Observer, Part 1
2002-02-19 @ 2:57 p.m.

Huzzah! My bloody focal point project is done! It actually turned out pretty funny, even if it doesn't actually have a point. Abby suggested that I post it and, lucky you, I'm going to. Here's the first instalment: Scene 1 of Sarah Ebel's "There's No Such Thing as an Objective Observer."

Scene 1:

An office decorated in a very feminine style. The walls are lilac, the furniture is pink, and there are fuzzy accessories and pictures of kittens playing with yarn everywhere. Our Archaeologist is at her desk wearing her second cutest flower print dress and writing busily with her favorite hot pink pen. As the scene begins, Starry-Eyed Male walks in with an armload of mail; a large manila envelope is on top.

[ Starry-Eyed Male ] (Worshipfully) I brought you your mail.

[ Our Archaeologist ] (Continues writing) Oh, thank you . . . you.

[ Starry-Eyed Male ] (Awe-struck) No problem . . .

(Knock at the door.)

[ Starry-Eyed Male cont. ] (Snaps out of it) Oh yeah, that author is here to see you.

(Said Author comes in. She is obviously taken aback by the decor; this really isn�t what she expected at all.)

[ Author ] Hello, we spoke on the phone�

[Our Archaeologist ] Yes, I remember. You�re the one writing the book about quests. (Notices envelope for the first time.) Hang on, let me open this interesting envelope before we get into it.

(She opens the envelope. The contents are what appears to be a map of some sort.)

[ Our Archaeologist cont. ] (Excited) It looks like a map of some sort! Yes, it looks like a map to the (Gasps. Dramatic pause.) to the fabled objecteev ovseur�re!

(Ominous organ music)

[ Author ] (Confused) The what?

[ Our Archaeologist ] The objecteev ovseur�re!

(Lightning and thunder)

[ Starry-Eyed Male ] Wonderful! It�s just what you�ve been looking for!

( Our Archaeologist stands up and walks towards him. Starry-Eyed Male makes to embrace her. Our Archaeologist puts the map in his hands and proceeds to the filling cabinet. While she�s digging through it, Author taps him on the shoulder.)

[ Author ] May I see that? (She scrutinizes the map.)

( Our Archaeologist has finished looking through the drawer of her cabinet, in the process dropping a manuscript for a romance novel, an autographed photograph of Kevin Sorbo, and several bottle of nail polish. She has, however, found what she was looking for � a note book with a glittery pink cover.)

[ Author cont. ] Who sent you the map?

[ Our Archaeologist ] (Briskly) I don�t know. There was no return address or letter attached.

[ Author ] Then how do you know that it�s authentic.

[ Starry-Eyed Male ] (Leaps to her defense) Really! She�s been studying this for her whole last six months! She�s got a whole half of a notebook filled with quasi-mythical evidence and stories that probably have some basis in fact! How dare you insinuate that she doesn�t know what she�s talking about!

[ Author ] (Apologetically) Sorry. I was just saying, is all.

[ Our Archaeologist ] (Prophetically) You may doubt me now, but you will see in the end. You wanted to write about a quest, so let�s go. To the Airport! (Marches out of the door.)

[ Starry-Eyed Male ] Wait for me!

[ Author ] Uhh� you forgot your map.

end scene

Part 2

Thought of the Day is currently on hiatus.

before ~ after

Failing Miserably - 2004-10-08
So Not Dead/Catching Up - 2004-09-20
Murphy's Law - 2,629,163,298, Sarah - 2 - 2004-08-23
Listmainia! continues - 2004-08-04
Continuing the list - 2004-08-02