Killing Will Riker
2002-09-23 @ 7:12 p.m.

First, let me just say that I am a Treker. Yes, I admit it, I love Star Trek. I will drop everything to watch a marathon and I'm anxiously awaiting Nemesis on December 13th (isn't December a terrific month for movies?). This rambling leads me to my point (yes, I actually have one of those today). I despise William T. Riker. He's annoying and trying to be Shatner and... and... his beard is stupid! Okay, so I have Unfounded Rage (TM) against him.

::Steals Dave Letterman's Bit:: I hold in my hand, tonight's Top Ten List: Top Twenty Ways to Maim, Torture, or Otherwise Kill William T. Riker.

20) Defrenestrate out the window of 10 Forward.

19) Shove poker chips up his nose.

18) Tie to front of the Enterprise; go to Warp 9.

17) Push into warp core.

16) Trap in turbolift with multiplying Tribbles.

15) Send into a temporal rift; don't go looking for him.

14) Have Lore crush him with super-human android strength.

13) Put arsnic in his replicator.

12) Get Q to turn him into a Lemur.

11) Stun him with a phaser and kick him while he's down.

10) Allow Wesley Crusher to experiment on him.

9) Take him to a Klingon bar, get him drunk, let Klingons do as they will.

8) Gift him to Luxwanna Troi.

7) Turn him into a flea, put that flea in a box, put that box in a bigger box, mail the box to myself, and then smash it with a hammer.

6) Seal in a Jeffry's Tube.

5) Put him a shuttle craft, deploy shuttle craft, use shuttle craft for Photon Torpedo target practice.

4) Tell Worf Riker was making fun of him.

3) Beat with trombone.

2) Stage a horrible fly fishing accident on the holodeck.

1) Send on an away team wearing a yellow shirt.

Thought of the Day:

Atheists get no respect.

before ~ after

Failing Miserably - 2004-10-08
So Not Dead/Catching Up - 2004-09-20
Murphy's Law - 2,629,163,298, Sarah - 2 - 2004-08-23
Listmainia! continues - 2004-08-04
Continuing the list - 2004-08-02